This is not an April Fools joke, though I do appreciate the humor in the fact that I was ordained on April 1st. I can now legally officiate weddings, civil unions, and vow renewals (including same sex) in the state of Pennsylvania. I am registered as Non-Religious Agnostic. Again, I can’t stress enough that this is not a joke. If you’re interested in having me officiate your ceremony, get in touch.


  1. How cool would it be to have you officiate! As soon as I saw this I had an image of Ob being the best man…I have to talk to my other half about this!

  2. I am actually getting married this summer. It it weren’t for the fact that I’m halfway across the world, I’d have put some serious effort into convincing the mrs-to-be that we should have Keene marry us. Congrats on your… Ministry? 😛

  3. If you’re going to be near Tallahassee, Florida soon, my wife and I would love it 😀

  4. As of May 2nd, you’ll getting that license 34 years too late to do me any good. Oh, well. Congrats anyhow. 😀

  5. Eh William, I’m ok with the app, just like I’d be ok with a “dirty reader” app. I’m ok with anything someone may want to do with my books after they’ve bought them because at that point I’ve made my money, and they’ve paid for the right to SET MY BOOK ON FIRE if they wanted to. (I suppose it would be interesting if they tried to burn an Ebook, but I digress!) The app is not censorship because it doesn’t affect my book’s availability, or changes anything about it at all for the rest of the consumers, ONLY for the individual using the app. I’m not sure why anyone would want to purchase a book containing graphic content and then change the “naughty words”, but it’s their right to do so and once again, let me reiterate, I’ve already made my sale. 🙂

  6. OMG this is fantastic! My partner and I (David Boyer) have been looking to tie the knot and since your state allows same-sex marriage, you can do us the honors!

    Also you can do us if you are into that sort of thing.

  7. If it floats your boat but I don’t believe in marriage, its more propaganda by the church to make money. Do the research and find out when it was first offered and you will find it is true. If you decide to do intervention to prevent this widespread insanity be in touch and I’ll help you out. Personally I believe I’m allergic to matrimony. I have had 2 excellent relationships ruined by saying I do, both men turned into gatekeepers as soon as we said the vows.

    One went to the point of nailing the windows and doors shut when he left so I couldn’t leave the house, and the other did even worse things. All in the name of love. I am fine without it but hey, I’m happy for those who it works for. It just doesn’t work for me.

  8. Hello Brian, my daughter Is very interested in having you officiate at her ceremony for her vow renewal. Right now she is in the totally involved into the purchase of a house and the closing date is basically within days so I figured I would try and contact you for her. Would you kindly let me know all that is involved and what she has to do to set this up.
    Thanks so much for your time and help,
    Gary Storms

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