My good friend Tim Wick (member of The Dregs) participated in this year’s CONvergence Con Iron Artist event. In Iron Artist, a group of artists have approximately half an hour to create an original composition (painting, sculpture, sequential comic page, etc) based on “ingredients” provided by a guest. This year, I was that guest, and the ingredients I provided were snippets from Castaways, Jack’s Magic Beans, Doom Patrol #16, Clickers III: Dagon Rising, and a canker sore shaped like our good friend, DC Comics artist Christopher Jones.
As one of the contestants, Tim’s art was the following beat poem, which incorporates ingredients from all of the books mentioned above, as well as the canker sore. It’s called… I Hate Brian Keene*.
The monsters came from the woods
Like vegetable Natalie Wood
Their curved black talons coming out of the leaves
A zombie salad, if you can believe
These were not monkeys
They were like a steampunk Robotman
Monster Volkswagen man
Only made of lettuce
At the Save-A-Lot
Like monkeys but not
Their high-pitched voices
Crunching stupid boy’s bones
Growing canker sores of Christopher Jones
Crabs, lobsters, and scorpions
What happened to the monkey?
The old bag with the lettuce
Does she have the monkey?
Blood, death, and Brian Keene
Does anyone understand what I mean?
Of course you do
You have taste
Like a girl trapped in a Volkswagon bug
Caught in a lobster-claw bear hug
Shocked by a spark plug
Death will take her soon
But not to Mars
Because there are no Volkswagen cars
Life is pain
I hate Brian Keene
*The original poem included doodles, but I’ve yet to unpack the scanner since the move, so I cannot include them here.